Friendship
“One day, if you want to cry, please call me. I am not sure that I can make you feel better but I will cry with you. One day, if you want to run away, please call me. I will not stop you, I will run with you. One day, if you don’t want to listen to anyone, please call me. I will come with you and say nothing. One day, you call me but I don’t answer you, please come with me because I need you at that time.” This is the speech which I like best. The friendship in this speech is so beautiful. Friendship make your life is full of colors: green as hope, red as enthuse, pink as happiness, purple as faithfulness, white as honest and a little yellow as worry. If your life has no friendship, your life is only black as aloneness, cold and cheerfulness. Friendship is a wonderful present for your life although sometimes it makes you hard to realize this present.
OUTLINE:
Introductory:
Thesis statement: friendship is a wonder full present for you life although sometimes it make you hard to realize this present.
Controlling idea: friendship is wonderful present and sometimes it makes you hard to realize.
Paragraph 1:
Topic sentence: friendship is a wonderful present
- It bring to you the happiness, a lot of fun and even sadness
-It has enough power to delete the distance between you and your friends.
-It has higher position than any your property
Paragraph 2:
Topic sentence: Sometimes, friendship makes you hard to realize
-When you want to protect your ego, your opinions
-When you are a rich or excellent person
Concluding: friendship makes your life more beautiful, meaningful and interested. Sometimes it makes you feel a little sad but friendship is really a part of your life
This is a good inductory paragraph.Grammar is ok.
Trả lờiXóagram is good.
Trả lờiXóathe thesis statement is very clear.
_some mistake about gram for exemple: it bring,it make
Trả lờiXóa_topic is interesting, especially leading
_coherent,unity is ok
technic:ok
Trả lờiXóaintroduction:maybe have many redundant ideas(just my feeling)
ideas: really good
leading: attract
thesis statement:clear
Trả lờiXóagrammar:ok
Structure: It make you hard to realize????
Trả lờiXóa